Goal: Learn to create meaningful relationships through active listening, empathy, and authentic interest in others
Practice the 3-Question Rule: In every conversation, ask at least three follow-up questions
- Example: "How was your weekend?" → "What did you like most about it?" → "Have you done that before?"
- Expected result: Deeper conversations that show you care about their experiences
Use the Paraphrase Technique: Repeat back what someone said in your own words
- Example: "So it sounds like you're excited about the play but nervous about memorizing lines?"
- Expected result: People feel heard and understood, strengthening your connection
Remember and Follow Up: Write down one personal detail about each person you talk to
- Example: Keep notes in your phone: "Sarah - worried about math test Friday, loves her dog Max"
- Expected result: Next time you see them, ask "How did your math test go?" or "How's Max doing?"
Share Something Personal: When appropriate, reveal something genuine about yourself
- Example: "I get nervous about presentations too. Last week I practiced mine 10 times!"
- Expected result: Others feel comfortable opening up to you, creating mutual trust
Put Away Distractions: During conversations, keep your phone in your pocket or bag
- Example: Make eye contact, nod, and respond to what they're saying instead of checking notifications
- Expected result: People feel valued and prioritized when you give them your full attention
If conversations feel awkward: Focus on asking about their interests, hobbies, or opinions rather than personal problems
If you forget personal details: Start small - just remember one thing about each person and build from there
If you don't know what to ask: Use conversation starters like "What's the best part of your day so far?" or "What are you looking forward to this weekend?"
You'll know you're done when: People actively seek you out for conversations and confide in you
- You can remember at least one personal detail about 10 different classmates
- People tell you "you're a good listener" or "thanks for asking about that"
- You have at least three conversations per week that go deeper than surface-level topics
- Friends come to you when they need someone to talk to
- You feel genuinely curious about others' lives and experiences
Ready for next step? Once you're connecting authentically with individuals, you'll be ready to expand your social presence through school involvement.