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Step-by-Step Guide: How to Make Friends with People You Just Met

Step 1: Master the Initial Connection

Module 1 of 6 2 min read

Goal: Create a positive first impression and establish rapport within the first 7 seconds of meeting

  1. Position Your Body for Connection: Stand or sit with open posture, shoulders back, arms uncrossed

    • Face the person directly with your body, not just your head
    • Expected result: You appear approachable and confident
  2. Make Eye Contact and Smile Genuinely: Look them in the eyes when speaking and listening

    • Hold eye contact for 3-5 seconds at a time, then briefly look away
    • Expected result: They feel seen and valued in the conversation
  3. Use These Proven Conversation Starters: Choose one that fits the situation

    • "What's been the highlight of your week so far?"
    • "Have you discovered any good [books/shows/restaurants] lately?"
    • "What brings you to [this event/place/gathering]?"
    • Expected result: They respond with more than a yes/no answer
  4. Practice Active Listening: Show you're engaged through your responses

    • Nod and use verbal confirmations like "That sounds interesting" or "I can see why you'd enjoy that"
    • Ask follow-up questions: "What did you like most about that?" or "How did you get into that?"
    • Expected result: The conversation flows naturally for 5+ minutes
  5. Share Something About Yourself: Balance listening with appropriate self-disclosure

    • When they mention an interest, share a related experience: "I've been wanting to try that too" or "That reminds me of when I..."
    • Keep initial sharing light and positive
    • Expected result: They ask you questions in return

If the conversation feels one-sided: Ask more open-ended questions and pause longer for their responses
If you're nervous: Focus on being genuinely curious about them rather than worrying about what to say next
If they seem distracted: Acknowledge it gracefully: "I can see you might need to get going" and suggest connecting later

You'll know you're done when: You've had a natural conversation lasting 10+ minutes with mutual engagement

  • You've discovered at least one shared interest or experience
  • They've asked you questions about yourself
  • The conversation has moved beyond surface-level topics
  • You both seem comfortable and engaged

Ready for next step? You've established initial rapport and have something to build on for future contact

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