Step 3: Ask Questions That Keep Conversations Flowing

Goal: Transform basic exchanges into engaging conversations using strategic questions and active listening

1. Replace Closed Questions with Open Ones: Transform any yes/no question into an experience question

   • Instead of "Did you like the movie?" ask "What did you think of the movie?"
   • Instead of "Are you from here?" ask "What brought you to this area?"
   • Instead of "Do you travel much?" ask "What's been your favorite travel experience?"
   • Expected result: You'll get detailed stories instead of one-word answers

2. Master the Magic Follow-Up Phrases: Use these exact phrases to dig deeper into any response

   • "What was that like for you?"
   • "Tell me more about that."
   • "How did that make you feel?"
   • "What was the best part?"
   • Expected result: People will share more personal and interesting details

3. Practice the 70/30 Listening Rule: Talk for 30% of the time, listen for 70%

   • Count to 3 after they finish speaking before you respond
   • Nod and make "mm-hmm" sounds while they talk
   • Maintain eye contact and lean slightly forward
   • Expected result: People will feel heard and want to share more

4. Use the "Echo and Expand" Technique: Repeat back what they said, then ask for more

   • Them: "I just got back from vacation."
   • You: "A vacation! Where did you go, and what was the highlight?"
   • Expected result: Shows you're listening and naturally extends the conversation

If someone gives very short answers: Try "I'm curious about..." or "I'd love to hear more about..."

If you're doing all the talking: Pause and ask "But enough about me - what about you?"

If the conversation stalls: Use "Speaking of [topic], have you ever...?" to pivot to related topics

You'll know you're done when: You can keep any conversation going for 5+ minutes using only questions

• You can transform 5 closed questions into open ones instantly
• You've memorized the 4 magic follow-up phrases and use them naturally
• You can maintain the 70/30 listening ratio in practice conversations
• You can use "echo and expand" technique smoothly 3 times in one conversation

Ready for next step? You now know how to keep conversations flowing - next you'll learn to contribute your own stories effectively.