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Module 7 of 9 • 3 min read
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Step-by-Step Guide: How to Be Bullied Less in Middle School

Step 7: Become an Upstander

Module 7 of 9 3 min read BEGINNER

Goal: Help create a positive school culture by supporting others and standing against bullying behavior

  1. Use the "Distract and Redirect" Technique: When you see bullying happening, interrupt by asking the victim about homework, inviting them to join your group, or creating a distraction that breaks up the situation

    • Expected result: The bullying stops without direct confrontation, and the victim feels supported
  2. Practice the "Private Support" Method: After witnessing bullying, approach the victim privately and ask "Are you okay?" or "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

    • Expected result: The victim knows they're not alone and has someone who cares about their well-being
  3. Implement "Inclusive Invitations": When you see someone sitting alone or being excluded, invite them to join your group for lunch, activities, or conversations

    • Expected result: Fewer students feel isolated and potential targets have social protection
  4. Use "Positive Peer Pressure": When friends make mean comments or jokes about others, say "That's not cool" or "Let's talk about something else"

    • Expected result: You help shift group dynamics away from negative behavior
  5. Report Serious Incidents: When you witness physical bullying, threats, or severe harassment, report it to a trusted adult within 24 hours

    • Expected result: Adults can intervene to stop dangerous situations and protect victims
  6. Become a "Bridge Builder": Help different groups of students get to know each other by facilitating introductions and finding common interests

    • Expected result: A more connected school community where bullying is less likely to occur

If you're afraid of becoming a target yourself: Start with small actions like private support and inclusive invitations before attempting direct intervention

If the bully is bigger or more popular than you: Focus on supporting the victim and reporting to adults rather than direct confrontation

If you're not sure whether something counts as bullying: When in doubt, offer support to the person who seems hurt and consider reporting to an adult

You'll know you're done when: You consistently support others and help create a more positive school environment

  • You've successfully interrupted at least one bullying situation using distraction techniques
  • You regularly check in with classmates who seem upset or isolated
  • You've invited someone new to join your group or activity at least once a week
  • You speak up when friends make mean comments about others
  • Other students see you as someone who stands up for what's right

Ready for next step? With your upstander skills developed, you're ready to focus on maintaining your own well-being and building long-term resilience.

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